A reminder to myself.
Hello all! It’s been a few days since my last post. I meant to write this up last night but I got pretty distracted. I’ve been working my butt off throughout the whole weekend and that gave me very little time to write. I really have to start organizing my time better, although I’ve never been the greatest at that.
I wanted to write this post, mainly for myself to come back and read when things get a little… hazy? That sounds vague and suspicious haha. What I mean by that is, there are times when my mood will drop really low and everything kind of becomes trivial to me. I’ll just lay awake in bed trying to figure out whether or not certain things are worth the stress. So many things stress me out. Last week I got really overwhelmed by work, school work, and trying to purchase a new phone which for some stupid reason became a really important thing to me? I don’t even need a new phone, but for some reason I focused a lot of energy on it.
Anyway, back to the topic of my moods. I tend to complain a lot about pretty much everything when I get in that mindset. I stress over small things and I focus too much on the unimportant stuff. I look at the minor details and setbacks rather than the big picture. I hate that feeling. I hate wondering whether or not actually living my life is too much of a hassle. It’s a horrible mindset to be in and one that could really take over and mess things up (although I never let it, I try to keep it to myself and get over it quickly).
Yesterday was a particularly strange day for me. It was a positive day. It started out kind of stressful because I woke up at 9:30 and my shift started at 8 (so I got to work like 2 hours late). My supervisor was incredibly kind and understanding about it, though. That really brightened my mood, and I got to work right away and worked extra hard to make up for it. The work day ended up being particularly easy after the hectic and exhausting shift I had the night before. I got a free coffee from Starbucks (a treat from my supervisor for helping her) and it really energized me and gave my mood an extra boost. My co-workers were really nice and helpful (and patient with me because I was working in an area different from where I usually worked so I asked quite a few questions). I also helped out a really nice customer who was really excited about the store’s Christmas set up and I was able to help her out and she was extremely appreciative.
Sometime between picking clothes up off the floor and putting them neatly back in their places, I realized that my life is currently in a really good place. I shouldn’t be complaining about it so much. I worked my butt off in high school for four years to be able to go to a good college. It paid off, because I’m currently enrolled and taking classes at a great university! For the entirety of my senior year and the first six months that I’ve spent in Orlando, I have tried and tried to get a job with no success. I’ve relied on financial aid refunds from school and on my mom, which I didn’t feel great about. Now I have a job that pays well and isn’t extremely complicated. I can’t really be upset about the hours they give me when I’m the one that decided on my availability from the start.
I have an amazing, supporting, incredibly gorgeous, and super loving boyfriend who I adore. I don’t have to pay rent (yet) because I live with my awesome mom who is the greatest. I have a plan for my future that I hope to execute and enjoy, alongside my previously mentioned awesome boyfriend. I started this blog and am really grateful to have readers and mutual bloggers as followers who are super great and so supportive. I’m trying not to sound like I’m bragging, and I hope none of you view it that way. I just want to appreciate the things in my life that I haven’t really felt like I’ve been grateful enough for. I’m writing this post to the future me who will likely find herself in a terrible mood again, but I’m hoping that she’ll have enough sense to look back on this post and remember that she’s doing great. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and frustrated and lost, but it’s not all a complete mess.
Once again, thank you all for reading. I encourage you guys to write a reminder to yourself (any kind, it doesn’t have to be like this). Just something that will open your eyes when you’re feeling a little out of sorts.