Why LDR is a challenge not just a complicated situation.
So a friend of mine brought to my attention how some people don’t really understand how incredibly difficult it is to be in a long distance relationship. Not many people address how it is to actually be in and keep a long distance relationship going. They usually talk about how “it never works out” or “you should just give up hope now”. Not to say that there aren’t any posts or articles out there about it. I just wanted to give my own perspective.
I lived in Miami with my family for about 6 or 7 years. It’s where I got through middle and high school. It’s where I met most of my friends that I have now, and where I met my boyfriend. I never really appreciated how much time I got to spend with him until I moved away. My family moved to Orlando before I finished my senior year. I stayed in Miami to graduate from the school where my friends were and applied to college in Orlando so that I could move in with my family and save money on housing. At the end of June, I moved to Orlando to start my summer semester at UCF.
Saying good-bye to the love of my life was the most heartbreaking thing ever, even though I knew I would see him again. Some of you might be eye-rolling right now, but you can’t even begin to understand the things we felt that day. It truly was one of the hardest and most painful moments of my life. We knew we would still be together, but not being able to see each other often or be near each other was a really hard thing to come to terms with. It made our future together seem a little hazier than it was before. We didn’t know how things would turn out and it made us even more desperate to find a way to start our lives together.
Yes, some people do have it “worse” than us. We’re 4 hours away from each other and there are other LDR couples who live 4 countries away from each other. Yet the fact remains the same, we all cannot be close to our partners on a daily basis. We can’t see each other every other day or every day or every weekend, even. I see my boyfriend once a month, and there’s been times where it’s once every two months. We even spent our two year anniversary apart from each other, which hurt us both.
This post isn’t meant to make people feel bad about being close to their significant other or to feel sorry for LDR couples. It’s really just to explain how the situation is and that it’s not some impossible thing. But also to shed light on how hard it is, emotionally. For some of us, it’s harder to sleep without our partner next to us in the same bed. It gets incredibly lonely and even phone conversations are treasured. Every moment spent together is a blessing to be savored and every goodbye gets more painful than the last.
LDR is a challenge, but not an impossible one. It works when you both have immutable and unwavering trust for each other. It works when you tell each other about your day or share your worries and struggles. It works with constant and honest communication. It works the same way every relationship should work, except you have to overcome the distance. You have to hold onto the hope and the fact that one day it won’t be as hard anymore, and you can finally spend every day beside each other.
I didn’t want to make this post incredibly sad or anything like that. My boyfriend and I are incredibly happy together, and sometimes the distance is harder to deal with than other times. However, I also keep in mind all the couples who dealt with long distance and had a very happy ending after getting through it (for example, my favorite YouTube couple Jess & Gabriel). There are definitely other experiences that I hope people will talk about to share their side of it. I’d definitely love to hear it!
As always, thank you for reading! I appreciate it a lot. With love,